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Positive.

I was sitting alone in my 600 sq foot apartment in a new city that I was trying to call home. I was staring at the 4 pregnancy tests that I bought from the local drug store.

I had just spent a week googling symptoms of pregnancy. Yes, Yes, No, Yes. - I said no to that one symptom. There is no way I could be pregnant, I thought. No way!

My mother had an unplanned pregnancy when she was 19. She raised my sister and I to know better than this. To be better than. Dear God, I can't be pregnant. The feeling of shame was overwhelming. I could only imagine the looks I would get from others, especially in my family.

Three positive tests later, I was sitting on the bathroom floor in disbelief googling if a pregnancy test can be wrong.

Highly unlikely.

Again, Dear God, I have one more test. I pray this is negative.

Positive.


I was sitting on the floor calling a dear friend laughing-crying from the disbelief. This can't be happening. Asking, can a pregnancy test be wrong? Can four?

Positive?!


My dear friend talked me through my next day. Talk to your boyfriend, she said, and call your doctor.


The next day came and still in disbelief, I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to still find the four positive tests. I had a daunting day ahead.

I managed to go to work, and keep busy, trying to keep my mind occupied. I then called the doctor and texted my boyfriend to make sure we were still on for dinner.

I had surprisingly made it through the work day. I then started to make the daunting drive to my boyfriend's apartment knowing the information I was about to tell him would change our lives forever.

Four years later - I now have the best husband, an amazing son, and a renewed faith in our creator.

*I started writing about me, then started writing about the mental struggles I went through with an unplanned pregnancy, and landed on the night I found out. I know the fear and disbelief of unplanned / unintended pregnancy and I want to say If you have had one or going through one you are not alone and you are loved.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.


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